tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26422033122038345252023-11-16T05:35:28.938-08:00Mrs L A's MusingsDisorganized, disjointed, and sometimes completely lost,
but finding my way through writing.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.comBlogger158125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-40030364634383211362020-12-05T11:38:00.006-08:002020-12-05T11:38:57.952-08:00<p> <span style="font-family: Quicksand;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Quicksand;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8GsFRRB2NcxmPPyY8BM4yiYGw47EH9iQZE6pZOM6sSt-xAJ44YYXsYwfZ2MT0hnbK3Y5AfRBxkVrlWcrzEqeznZDQWldz3RYz5GYVhyphenhyphenHNaMC5cNTtyQ8_ZVEd7TEHJKl2YNLj8RE_TKeg/s1228/128631224_4140074806007790_6808827575982480629_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1228" data-original-width="828" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8GsFRRB2NcxmPPyY8BM4yiYGw47EH9iQZE6pZOM6sSt-xAJ44YYXsYwfZ2MT0hnbK3Y5AfRBxkVrlWcrzEqeznZDQWldz3RYz5GYVhyphenhyphenHNaMC5cNTtyQ8_ZVEd7TEHJKl2YNLj8RE_TKeg/w195-h290/128631224_4140074806007790_6808827575982480629_o.jpg" width="195" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: Quicksand;">Saturday afternoon, stretched out on the couch, alternating between reading about the Green New Deal, indulging in fiction downloaded from the city library, and prepping for school. Big, heavy snowflakes distract my attention and I find myself staring out the window for long stretches. A very Ska Christmas is playing over the smart speaker as my husband explores new playlists. My college student daughter, wrapped in her unicorn robe complete with horned hood, is taking a break from essay writing and final projects to read fan fiction.</span><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Quicksand;">Saturdays were meant for this sort of relaxation (well, not the lesson planning). I'm grateful that my circumstances allow my this warm, safe place and the time to enjoy it.<br /></span></p>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-25073879483291221672020-07-06T15:45:00.004-07:002020-07-12T13:05:04.708-07:00Uncle Donnie<span style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Anya was known "The Incredible Velcro Baby". She would not go to anyone besides me and her dad. Not to ANYONE. When Greg and I wanted to go out, we would leave after putting Anya to bed and the babysitter would sit in petrified silence, hoping she would not wake up. (I love you, my brave sisters and nieces!) When we were at our playgroup, I had to sneak off to the bathroom, my friend trying to block the view so Anya would not notice that I had left. </span><br />
<br style="caret-color: rgb(62, 62, 62); color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">That's why, when we had a playgroup field trip to the firehouse, we caused a big stir. </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDvbrqtIRvpiIMoNWzGlh2r-aSLEGxPpNZeYx7JFttBkj0Iexg2JWUSFVhfnMnRO49rbEhUwfBYOAqW3l8ZVEo0pimOWOMmT04jAbQYxqiQedaXQvwu9mUkorx4IrupYcPnq25i7mTg8g/s1600/107091738_3672554666093142_1761329862253192355_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="649" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDvbrqtIRvpiIMoNWzGlh2r-aSLEGxPpNZeYx7JFttBkj0Iexg2JWUSFVhfnMnRO49rbEhUwfBYOAqW3l8ZVEo0pimOWOMmT04jAbQYxqiQedaXQvwu9mUkorx4IrupYcPnq25i7mTg8g/w270-h400/107091738_3672554666093142_1761329862253192355_n.jpg" title="Anya on Uncle Donnie's shoulders" width="270" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif;">Anya would not go to anyone else besides her parents. Except, apparently, to her Uncle Donnie.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-family: "quattrocento sans", sans-serif;">Uncle Donnie died unexpectedly last week. I can't get this picture out of my head. </span>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-79650230050181623882019-06-02T08:24:00.001-07:002019-06-02T08:29:26.552-07:00ceramic memories<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I knew this day would come; dreaded it for some time. But this morning, when I saw that today was the day, I shrugged and smiled.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKMLThlYqT4szDFR1thMY5X0ZF_-9Hm5IPpMqsjcTZQ_6CtXPH1uJuK9z4Re8sccPxOvWPZGl-gV8y62XyERiYdZsRmvrBQIMzCnOyiQ_-GAEVjhfh5HobpOTGtnI-xwxbGfAn-HE-cDU/s1600/IMG_1827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKMLThlYqT4szDFR1thMY5X0ZF_-9Hm5IPpMqsjcTZQ_6CtXPH1uJuK9z4Re8sccPxOvWPZGl-gV8y62XyERiYdZsRmvrBQIMzCnOyiQ_-GAEVjhfh5HobpOTGtnI-xwxbGfAn-HE-cDU/s320/IMG_1827.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The chip on my coffee cup might not sound like a big deal to you, but this hasn’t always been my coffee cup. It was my father’s first. His little sister gave it to him for some occasion or another. I remember her smile, when he opened the gift. She said something about retirement not changing the fact that he was a bricklayer. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I honestly don’t know if my father ever actually drank coffee from this mug. There were plenty of mugs in the cabinet. But, when I was cleaning out those cabinets, that mug went in the box of things that I wanted. That mug was a part of my Dad.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For the past several years, I’ve alternated between this cup and the lovely Polish pottery I inherited from the previous occupant of a classroom I moved into. They are my favorites and no one else in the house ever takes them. Though my mother never owned, nor drank out of, the Polish pottery, I began to think of that as her mug and the construction worker one as Dad’s. I took turns thinking of them each as I poured the coffee. I felt their presence, I visited with a quick memory each time. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With such a weighty connection to a mug, I feared what would happen when one or the other finally succumbed to age and use, or to accident. I feared the grief that might well up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But, this morning, as I unexpectedly caught my lip on the new chip in Dad’s cup, I was unprepared by how OK I was with it. Things change, things die, and life goes on. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Since my father died, my family changed in some fundamental ways. I will never be a part of the larger family the way I was when he was with us. I grieved over that loss for a long time. I think, in the past year as my little immediate family changes with growth of our girls, I have come very close to being at peace with the evolution of the larger family. I am loving the evolution of my immediate family. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So, the cup is chipped and I should no longer use it. It would slowly, or not so slowly fall apart and I should retire it before I cut my lip or swallow a ceramic fragment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It feels wrong to just toss it in the trash, so I might find a garden spot to bury it in, or scatter the broken shards in with the border rocks, but I won’t cry the way I thought I would. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thank you, Aunt Lee, for buying Dad the mug. Thanks for leaving it in the cabinet for me, Dad. I’ll still think of you both when I sit at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee.</span></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-dea28019-7fff-5e1a-b2cc-c50ceb62f262"></span><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-42561127401230604692018-12-26T08:55:00.001-08:002019-02-20T09:34:08.658-08:00Urban wildlife in December<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-MOdjqSgcwIT1jxDbooxhVtsMeb4RJcyl14o9HgbnwvuwxIZvt2_b7y2cIDslFGgQRrAfL-rTAbBENWJlf_0rvrqqx81OUmbs38tQei8qVDUompv6tsV5W_kKQsAun-dfPagpt96XZve9/s1600/IMG_1475.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-MOdjqSgcwIT1jxDbooxhVtsMeb4RJcyl14o9HgbnwvuwxIZvt2_b7y2cIDslFGgQRrAfL-rTAbBENWJlf_0rvrqqx81OUmbs38tQei8qVDUompv6tsV5W_kKQsAun-dfPagpt96XZve9/s320/IMG_1475.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cormorant on the Merrimack River</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It wasn't quite 30 degrees when I started on my walk this morning. The sun streaming in through the window tricked me into thinking I was dressed right, but the frigid air seeped right through my jeans by the time I hit the mile mark.<br />
I'm on winter break from school so of course my thoughts during the walk were mostly about school. As I passed a cormorant sitting on a log poking up from the swelled river, I thought about the spring life sciences unit and started imagining how I could get my students looking carefully at the habitat that is our city. I heard some ducks squawking back and forth then passed a small flock of geese in the shallows, but when I saw the little muskrat chewing something near the edge of the river, I knew I had to record this for them.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjYVUF-yU-za2yhwbRwKyUjsPHar73L_Dq_2XehB8em7KWr2PXV20qBSJRodXK9AEBnYZM3CciS6vBcJ72-f0UiPxl7PQvANeHQ5SaGxvqWpDdRXUxZ6Tzb3hkJcypc6YEdiXrCznsTzYB/s1600/IMG_1476.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjYVUF-yU-za2yhwbRwKyUjsPHar73L_Dq_2XehB8em7KWr2PXV20qBSJRodXK9AEBnYZM3CciS6vBcJ72-f0UiPxl7PQvANeHQ5SaGxvqWpDdRXUxZ6Tzb3hkJcypc6YEdiXrCznsTzYB/s400/IMG_1476.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can you make out the little fur ball at the water's edge? He seemed to be a muskrat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
There's a lot to like about Lowell.<br />
#UrbanWildlife<br />
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-46121448379911836022018-01-27T08:00:00.002-08:002019-06-02T08:35:45.926-07:00my crazy<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know why the things that stress me out are so stressful. Everyday things that don’t bother most people send me right over the edge. And I can’t explain to you why. I’ve only recently been able to express that they do put a strain on me. It was so hard for the last 40 years to admit that the idea of bringing my car in for service or planning an event for someone or making particular phone calls inspired days of hand-wringing anxiety.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-5d7714a4-7fff-a54b-6960-7d34128a0a80" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Perhaps I can’t tell you why because there is no good reason. What I have been coming to grips with is that there doesn’t have to be a good reason. I feel the anxiety and I have to work through it.And sometimes, I just can’t. The anxiety exists, good reason or not.</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The stress of driving a car that should have work done is somehow less than making</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">arrangements to have the work done. It doesn’t make sense. But does anxiety have to be somehow justified? </span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Doesn’t that, then, make it something other than anxiety?</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And, what people don’t understand is that I can thrive in certain stressful situations and still falter in these mundane ones.</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I go to a stressful job every day, often with a positive sense of anticipation. I prepare by reading, talking, assessing student work, and writing lesson plans, but I know going in that nothing will ever completely match my plan. I try to anticipate who will struggle with a certain concept or activity, I plan alternatives and “what ifs”, and still have to think on my feet to address my students’ needs in the moment. Several researchers have talked about the stress in professions where we have to make hundreds of little decisions every day, constantly assessing, choosing, and then reassessing.</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, that I am able to work in this stressful environment and make decisions doesn’t make buying, or not buying, Christmas presents any easier (Should I buy for this person? Oh no, how did I forget to buy for them? Will they like it? I’m not going to give it to them, they won’t like it. Am I overstepping my bounds? Did I misread the signals? I hate Christmas.)</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But someone loves my crazy.</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that loves comes with its own frustrations, and I won’t lie to myself that it’s easy living with me. Nor do I think that it gets me off the hook to try to work through my anxiety and participate as much as I can in our life of servicing cars and planning parties.</span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.656; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "quicksand" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But it feels good to be accepted, warts and all.</span></div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-71218220974493426272018-01-17T06:27:00.000-08:002018-01-17T06:40:19.912-08:00Snow DayOn a normal day, the students would be filing off buses about now.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDy5HNExSQ-__VJcMTIQGrlRSaA12Ivy0gGEbaj73F3l0LbieI7v_ZgoN_v6irpIxO5nYMRtFauR2kBmduMdB_6ItYI9ohpxpq4WXNAeYsCoSYIoFBbLE1nxw6z5dR1B4658_x2tcpOzL/s1600/IMG_7619.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDy5HNExSQ-__VJcMTIQGrlRSaA12Ivy0gGEbaj73F3l0LbieI7v_ZgoN_v6irpIxO5nYMRtFauR2kBmduMdB_6ItYI9ohpxpq4WXNAeYsCoSYIoFBbLE1nxw6z5dR1B4658_x2tcpOzL/s320/IMG_7619.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
But today is not a normal day.<br />
<br />
Today is one of those joyful treats of being a teacher.<br />
<br />
Today is a snow day.<br />
<br />
It's the 6th snow day of the year. Of course, the first two days off had nothing to do with snow but were the result of dangerous winds in October that knocked power out for most of our schools and for most of our families and staff as well. We just don't have anything else to call them. Severe weather days? Unexpected-stay-in-your-pajamas days?<br />
<br />
I know the argument against snow days. It means we'll stay in school until the end of June. True. Because of today's call, our last day of school has been bumped to June 20. And we haven't even entered February, traditionally the snowiest month in New England. But our contract states that we can't stay in school past June 30th, so I can still make summer vacation plans. (Family trip to Spain, hopefully.)<br />
<br />
I was at class last night, a class for teachers who want to become specialists in reading, and we were all talking about the coming storm. "Has your district called it yet?" Everyone of us was talking about it, though some with dread.<br />
<br />
"I just hope they call it in time so I can turn off my alarm and sleep in." said one young teacher who clearly didn't have children at home who would wake up anyway. "Oh, I want to get up. I hate to miss any of my snow day." I answered. That earned me some odd looks. That's OK, I'm used to odd looks.<br />
<br />
But I know I'm not alone. A snow day is a special gift that I do not want to squander. Sure, I stay in my pajamas well into the day, sometimes even ALL day. For me, a snow day is an opportunity to read, to write, to make plans for that lesson I wasn't sure how to figure out, to read student work, to look at the big picture of the upcoming unit and get a clear idea of where I want students to end up. A snow day means listening to the radio longer, putting on a second pot of coffee, cleaning out a drawer or a closet that I've been meaning to get to. On snow days I put the kettle on after shaking the snow off when I come in from shoveling so we can all have hot chocolate. I eat a hot lunch, a rare luxury on a school day.<br />
<br />
It's time for school to start and on a normal day I would have rushed through getting showered and dressed, making my lunch, helping my teenager get to the bus stop on time, packing my bag and making sure my coffee thermos was filled. Instead, I have read a chapter for my class, written a review on my 4th grade website for a book I just finished (and started a new book), put a load of clothes into the washing machine, celebrated the day off with my teenager (who just now got out of bed), and started the assignment due for my next class.<br />
Oh, and put on a second pot of coffee.<br />
<br />
Happy snow day everyone.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-76650422988139360332017-12-31T10:11:00.004-08:002020-07-06T15:58:46.107-07:0030 year old pain<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Thirty years ago I drove my mother’s station wagon through a stop sign that I didn’t notice, or noticed too late, o didn’t take seriously enough, and into the path of a red pick-up truck. </span></div><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">My friend in the passenger seat was cut in a few places by flying shards of glass and sprained her wrist in the impact. The driver of the pick-up fractured a few ribs. A man driving a third car experienced whiplash. In a swerve away from the stereotype, I, the driver who caused the accident, was the most hurt. I split my head open, took the entirety of the driver’s side window in my face which ripped my eyelid nearly off, struggled to breathe through my collapsed lungs, and broke my arm in 4 close-together places just above my elbow. </span></div><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">My head was stapled back together pretty quick, though that injury may be why I don’t actually remember the accident, putting my faith in the stories of it that others have told me. The plastic surgeon used a skin graft to repair my eyelid and sewed in what felt like a million little stitches on the left side of my face. Still, I was still picking little pieces of glass out of my cheek three months later, a phenomenon the nurse called “normal.” And the orthopedic doctor did what he could with my arm. I was in some level of a cast for almost a year. It took six month before I could move all my fingers, another three months after that before my thumb would respond to my brain’s commands. If you feel my arm, you can still find the outcropping of bone that never did heal in the right direction.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-f0ce42e3-adc4-2b67-f50d-28be442c2690" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I’m thinking of this accident not because of year-end nostalgia but because my arm hurts. My arm has hurt at some point every year for the last thirty, at varying levels of ouch. But the long-lasting cold snap we have been living in since Christmas seems to be the worst thing for a thirty year old break and I have been in constant discomfort, with regular jabs of pain, for three days. It hurts more now than it has in a long time and I’m hoping that this will not be my new reality as I leap toward fifty.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Pain like this can stop you from doing things. It makes it hard to shovel snow or open jelly jars or keep a civil tongue. When you are in pain you get grumpy, you get impatient. Perhaps that’s where the stereotype of grumpy old folks comes from. I don’t want to be that grouchy old lady that folks tolerate. I have plans for my next 50 years and they do not include family members avoiding my company.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Nor do I want to be that old lady who talks about every ailment the same way some folks comment on the weather. But I feel like, for myself, I need to acknowledge that I have this injury, that I did not hypochondriacally make it up, and that the pain is real. And, doing that, I can move toward dealing with it.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">On this last day of 2017, I’m feeling the pain from thirty years ago, looking ahead to another year, grateful that I’m here to feel it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: montserrat; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-33240233019031518922017-12-27T04:49:00.001-08:002017-12-27T04:49:48.416-08:00Fat and healthy<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is fat a bad thing? Inherently? Always?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I carry around a few extra pounds. Yeah, more than a few. The report from my annual physical includes the word </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">obese</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and has for years now. I shop more reliably in the plus size section, though I can still often find some good pieces in the regular clothes (though it upsets me that I felt compelled to say that last part). I shy away from certain styles.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But am I unhealthy? Less healthy than thinner people?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This school year, as other teachers have fallen to the germs so generously shared by elementary students, I have barely had a sniffle (until the Christmas break, of course). I climbed a mountain in 90 degree heat with less trouble than my “more fit” peer. Though I’ve hit a slow down because of the cold and early setting sun, I usually walk 2 miles a day at a pace to increase my heart rate and usually meet both the standard FitBit 10,000 steps and my Apple Watch 600 burned calories benchmark.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But, I am fat. And I know that my choices and habits over the past 20 years are the cause. I eat too much sugar, I’m inconsistent with exercise, my muscles are weak and so my metabolism is slowed. I make regularly renewed efforts to get more healthy, without sacrificing chocolate.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At the milestones of the year - the start of spriong, the start of the new school year, and now the new year - I review and reflect and set goals for improving my health. I try not to make my goals about weight, or at least not about weight alone. I want strength to keep up with my husband on hikes and bike rides. I want to be strong enough to haul my future grandchildren around, earning the moniker of the fun grandparent. I want to live independently into old age. So, I pay closer attention to what I eat and resolve to decrease the sugar and increase the vegetables. I look at my schedule to see where I can dedicate time to exercise. I eye sleeveless dresses and pick up the hand weights to build some fashionable muscles. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Fat is a symptom of some health problems, but is not itself my health problem. I may make big improvements to my physical health by increasing my exercise consistency and decreasing my sugar intake and still not decrease my clothing size by much at all. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-ed6b7641-9803-b16f-2a48-addba1631c63"></span></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m fat, and I’m healthy. My New Year’s goal is to make more healthy choices, eve if I still shop in the plus size section.</span></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-85022733569036062312017-08-22T04:56:00.000-07:002017-08-22T05:02:53.270-07:00dragonflies<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was little, my Nana called them “sewing needles” for their long body shape. As kids we heard “needles” and thought “sting” so we splashed water to scare them away any time we saw them hovering around the pool.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But dragonflies don’t sting.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When my girls were little we had Judy Allen’s book </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4812560-are-you-a-dragonfly" target="_blank">Are You a Dragonfly?</a></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> In our collection. I think it was with that book that my distrust of the flying sewing needles turned to love. By then I had a garden of my own that taught me to enjoy the buzz of bees and delight in the sight of worms in the dirt. Dragonflies became my late summer friends, more abundant than butterflies and, when you stopped splashing them so you could see, just as beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In my garden now, I leave the stalks of spent lilies because they turn into dragonfly flowers in August. Some afternoons you can see ten or more dragonflies perched on the top of the stalks, waiting for the hunt or basking in the sun or meeting up with a friend. The slow dance of wings as they sit could be a signal to another, or perhaps they are just stretching. They rest, fly up, then rest on another stalk. At the end of the summer, when thoughts are focused on the start of the new school year and the butterflies start fluttering through my stomach, the dragonflies are calming. Despite my neglected yet ever-growing to do list, I can sit for long stretches watching them play around the dead lilies.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year, it seems there are not as many dragonflies. I’m worried that the same carelessness that is harming the bees in our world is getting to them. They do not appear on the <a href="https://www.fws.gov/endangered/map/ma-info.html" target="_blank">endangered list</a> for my state, but still, it’s different.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I miss them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-bc7d41cc-09c3-5a71-5255-5b7dcdfdbbae"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My Nana has been gone for 35 years but every time I see a dragonfly I think of her. And then I think of Judy Allen’s book and sitting in the garden with my little girls. They never called them sewing needles, never splashed water at them to scare them away. But when I leave the lily stalks in the garden I feel like I am connecting the thread between us all: grandmother, author, growing girls, dragonfly.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "playfair display"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is my <a href="https://twowritingteachers.org/2017/08/22/46438/" target="_blank">Slice of Life</a>. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRyxll5WvnIxJGSz7PbJVHDcuGhxiYOh099rwLD1Suh1i5APa0eGzsXmGox8SGrIdyD7xOHlCAiO_YbQqSuqQsOkCD23VV31QbabTYJd8ABThPCgsCza6LPBXLYcEToy6ttQh0w3zsdz9l/s1600/IMG_0210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRyxll5WvnIxJGSz7PbJVHDcuGhxiYOh099rwLD1Suh1i5APa0eGzsXmGox8SGrIdyD7xOHlCAiO_YbQqSuqQsOkCD23VV31QbabTYJd8ABThPCgsCza6LPBXLYcEToy6ttQh0w3zsdz9l/s320/IMG_0210.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's blurry, but there is a dragonfly on top of the lily stalk. There were 3 others in the garden.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-45791974365312780562017-08-11T13:37:00.000-07:002017-08-11T13:37:20.086-07:00same face through generations<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhef5uUgSITPsGWim2-zQnCXlbhHvELJ3iij_P3l93IWksqWX-FTxHVl-nwjZ-3KjPXR7NBfiYfDcuNgJIMwt1-5jHY6tWlGHP9hQ6bAIaepRM-_Gfxjo14H6wY7vQZB72qOS5WbNqLj7/s1600/193X-MomFamily-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1130" data-original-width="942" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhef5uUgSITPsGWim2-zQnCXlbhHvELJ3iij_P3l93IWksqWX-FTxHVl-nwjZ-3KjPXR7NBfiYfDcuNgJIMwt1-5jHY6tWlGHP9hQ6bAIaepRM-_Gfxjo14H6wY7vQZB72qOS5WbNqLj7/s320/193X-MomFamily-2.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pauline, Albert, and Florence</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been browsing through old photographs and am struck once again by how the same faces keep popping up through the generations. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This black and white photo is my Mom with her brother Albert and sister Florence (my Mom called her "Sister" or "Sis" for her whole life, and we called her "Aunt Sister" - it never seemed weird until I had to explain it to someone). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is so easy to see my siblings and I in all of those faces. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That high forehead on my Mom, the littlest one on the left, she gave to me. I spent much of my life pushing my hair over that forehead, trying to deny it. As I approach 50 I'm finally willing to push my hair back, but you can see my bangs in the photo below (center). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-e-xUVv1zNOH16n7o7H2Hpn9mU1mok6j80i3sy2dlZGBTkTijhwRvGsOerrW01LJfnqG_qObfKjg_nuRtkPetAAzO-viMmDP01VP2Osf7D5lC7tQgrYtrmHhYdcbSBGV30LY49VfSWCL/s1600/1972-2-Dad-Wanda-Laura-Wayne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1052" data-original-width="1027" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-e-xUVv1zNOH16n7o7H2Hpn9mU1mok6j80i3sy2dlZGBTkTijhwRvGsOerrW01LJfnqG_qObfKjg_nuRtkPetAAzO-viMmDP01VP2Osf7D5lC7tQgrYtrmHhYdcbSBGV30LY49VfSWCL/s320/1972-2-Dad-Wanda-Laura-Wayne.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wanda, Laura, and Wayne with Dad</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That little boy in maroon pants, my brother Wayne, looks a lot like my Uncle Albert. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-e-xUVv1zNOH16n7o7H2Hpn9mU1mok6j80i3sy2dlZGBTkTijhwRvGsOerrW01LJfnqG_qObfKjg_nuRtkPetAAzO-viMmDP01VP2Osf7D5lC7tQgrYtrmHhYdcbSBGV30LY49VfSWCL/s1600/1972-2-Dad-Wanda-Laura-Wayne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, depending on when I look at the photograph, in Aunt Sis I see my sister Wanda, my sister Brenda or my brother Lenny.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> And then there are my own little girls. Their round faces and high foreheads are certainly from my Mom, from me. In different pictures when you look fast you might think a photo is any number of cousins only to find out it's a photo of an aunt or uncle, a generation or more apart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My childhood was remarkably different from my Mom's, and my girls' quite different from my own, but we share these faces. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivd00LoV8Wr5laX8W2EpHd4JusWbh1DIPX6LDsijWVvut9qlzIcMnla-WQrqQOFP4eSeSbLVJswl24WIBf1UzcwEFaxpL2NloDZeI7FHo7DLOEo1vYQyQPtxASE-SIcGSxri-6p0uZTkj3/s1600/2004-AnyaThea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1078" data-original-width="1600" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivd00LoV8Wr5laX8W2EpHd4JusWbh1DIPX6LDsijWVvut9qlzIcMnla-WQrqQOFP4eSeSbLVJswl24WIBf1UzcwEFaxpL2NloDZeI7FHo7DLOEo1vYQyQPtxASE-SIcGSxri-6p0uZTkj3/s320/2004-AnyaThea.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anya and Thea</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-38546799651500476632017-07-18T11:14:00.000-07:002017-07-18T11:14:47.479-07:00My mother's hands<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
I just got off the phone with my doctor's office to have my pinky finger looked at. I noticed two days ago that the finger was bent at the top knuckle, and swollen. It didn't really hurt, though once I noticed it it was hard not to continuously notice it. The finger has now started to hurt a little, so it seems best to have it looked at.<br />
But, my finger is the least of my troubles right now. I've been fending off anxiety for the few days, with pretty good success for a while there. But the butterflies have had full range of my stomach for a few hours now, my shoulders are tensed, I can't sit still, and I really just want to have a good cry. There is no good reason for this panic attack, though I guess there rarely is. I mean, there's a lot going on - Thea is preparing to go to college in just over a month while battling her own issues, I'm beginning my post-graduate program at the end of August, the current president is a greedy, self-absorbed corporate tool using the presidency for financial gain at the expense of people and the planet - so, yea, there are lots of reasons to panic.<br />
But, what I think I'm grappling with is the look of this bent little finger. My hand is starting to look like my mother's hands. And I would like very much to hold my mother's hands.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-31709352457140419952017-04-29T05:34:00.002-07:002017-04-29T05:34:55.633-07:00Where is home?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Unexpected questions can be difficult, even when we have an answer. I have
stumbled more than hurtled in my life-time of answering questions. One that often gets me is "where are you from?" While out at a community event the other day, a local reporter asked my husband a version of this question. After Greg described Lowell as his home, even though we don't currently live there, the reporter asked him why. Greg stumbled in his answer as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Each time I stumble over an unexpected question, I spend days afterwards thinking of my best answer. Greg's stumble has given me the opportunity to reflect and prepare,
should anyone confront me with the same question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Why do I call Lowell home?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">The easy answer is because I was born here, this is where my story
started. My parents and my siblings were born here. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I grew up on the outer edges of the city, in South Lowell, near the
towns of Tewksbury and North Billerica. The variety store where I bought
cigarettes for my sister and Hershey bars for myself was actually in Tewksbury,
though close enough for me to walk to on my own even in elementary school. I
didn’t have to cross Woburn Street, so it was a safe walk. When we were very
young it was called Ray’s and run by an Archie Bunker looking guy who always
wore a white buttoned-up shirt and a black belt. He was gruff, and kept a close
eye on us as we surveyed the candy counter, as if we would ever have considered
taking a Charleston Chew without paying the coins for it. Later, Pete bought
the place and he was much more welcoming and trusting. His bearded smile
greeted us most days and he had no problem handing over the pack of Marlboro
Lights my sister sent me in buy. It was clear I was not smoking them myself as
I was always so absorbed in making the decision between something chocolate or
something more sugary. (Lick-em sticks and candy cigarettes were cheaper than
Hershey Bars so you could get twice as much, but some days, chocolate is what
you need.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">The Variety Store on Woburn Street is completely different now. Truth be
told, I’m not even sure its still there. But the mostly packed dirt sidewalk
between my house and the store is a part of my home. That walk and those
interactions with Ray and Pete helped to shape me. Ray’s suspicion confirmed
the lessons of church and family that I should strive to be honest as I didn’t
like being thought otherwise. Pete’s daily smile showed me the importance of
such simple kindness as I could not continue to be mad at my brother in the
face of such happiness. When Pete was in a sour mood, we all suffered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because we lived in a neighborhood with a variety
store where people knew my name, or at least who my parents were. That straight
path is mapped into my memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">For some in Lowell, the city is divided into parishes. My parish was a
bit mixed. In proximity, Saint Marie’s was our parish. The church was right
down the street, an easy walk from the house in the opposite direction down
Woburn Street from Pete’s. It was a walk I couldn’t make alone as early as I
was allowed to wander down to Pete’s though. To go to St. Marie’s you had to
walk across Christman Avenue where the 495 on-ramp is, under the highway
bridges where sometimes teenagers hung out, and past the off-ramp. Even before
the Dunkin Donuts opened at the gas station, this could be a busy road of
drivers unconcerned with a nine-year-old’s spiritual journey. I didn’t walk to
St. Marie’s much though, because we belonged to Sacred Heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Sacred Heart Church, and the accompanying school where I attended from
grades 1 through 8, was on Gorham Street. It was walkable and my brothers and
sister and I walked home from school plenty of times, but going to church at
Sacred Heart meant we were with Dad, so we always went in the car. We passed
that spot on Lawrence Street where for years the chain-linked fence was bent in
where my brother drove his motorcycle nearly into the Concord River. It was
kind of sad when they finally fixed that fence, but I still think of Bobby every
time I cross that bridge. Most Sundays we went to the 9:00 mass which usually
had the children’s choir since Dad liked the children’s choir better than the
operatic voices of the adult choir. I even joined the choir for a little while,
despite my Lamarre voice. Dad always loved to sing but he would never join the
choir himself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">So much of my life was celebrated in that church. We were all baptized
there, though of course I have no memory of any of that. I do have pictures of
just about all of my sisters in white dresses my mother made for each of them,
standing in front of the statue of Mary with the priest or the head nun or a
grandmother after making First Communion. A few of my sisters were married
there. Every Christmas and Easter and just about every Sunday of my life until college included church attendance. The priest knew us. The old ladies complimented our
behavior in the pews, unattended when Dad was on the alter as a Eucharistic
minister. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">We buried my brother from that church, with Father Madigan calling him
“Bob” and me wanting to stand up and shout at him that my brother was Bobby, my
Dad is Bob so stop making it sound as if my father has died. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because, even though the school building has been torn
down and the church turned into condos I grew in spirit there. I journeyed from
blind acceptance to determined adherence to angry rejection of the Catholic
Church, landing now in a place without anger or acceptance (though I do like
the tone of the current pope). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I sat at the counter in Woolworth’s to have
lunch with my grandmother.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I took the city bus downtown to shop at Jordan
Marsh.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I could tell the difference between the Aiken Street
bridge and the Bridge Street bridge with my eyes shut because of the weird noise the metal grating of Aiken St made when you drove over it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I know that you shopped at Saint Joseph’s
shrine when you needed a first communion cross and that you could get a mass
card for a funeral at the rectory at Sacred Heart, perhaps from my mother or my
aunt if one of them was working there at the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I graduated from Lowell High School and can
still sing the fight song, and so could my Dad right up to the day he died even
though he didn’t graduate with his class but earned his GED there in 1978.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because my grandparents and aunts and uncles and
sister and niece are buried in St. Patrick’s Cemetery and my brother and
parents are in the Lowell Cemetery just down from the lion who my daughters and
I named Ezra.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I know where things are and how to get there
and even though I have lived in Westford for over 10 years, I still don’t know
the best route to take.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I spent my teenage years traveling by LRTA and
gratefully accepted some change to pay for my bus ride home when a stranger saw
me crying at the public phone after realizing I had spent my bus fare calling
my Mom to let her know I was running late.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because I went to the teen health clinic that was run
out of an old mill building where they would leave a message that “Susan
called” so your parents wouldn’t know you were getting birth control pills.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Lowell is my home because that is what I instinctively answer every time
someone asks me where I’m from. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-69206842000471790772017-03-20T17:18:00.000-07:002017-03-20T17:18:48.090-07:00senior discounts for busy days<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">The nice young lady at Dunkin Donuts gave me the Senior Discount today.
And, I’m being honest when I tell you that my first reaction was not sadness or
anger at being mistaken for someone eligible for AARP benefits, or even
surprise. The first thing I felt was guilt. I’m not supposed to get the senior
discount. I’m supposed to pay full price. Will this young person get in trouble
for giving a senior discount without checking first? If I take it won’t I be
cheating the company, and ultimately the workers?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">After grabbing the pastry (that I ordered for my daughter, in case
you’re reading the earlier post on how I want to build strength and health) she
half winked and said she knew I didn’t get the senior discount, but she gave it
to me. Phew, guilt trip over. She hadn’t made a mistake that was going to get
her in trouble, she made a choice of her own free will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I know what you’re thinking (because I thought it too). Another employee
probably said something to her, or she noticed me smiling at the note on the
cash register, and she didn’t want me to feel bad. I don’t feel bad. I don’t
color the white and grey out of my hair, I have lots of wrinkles around my eyes
from smiling, and I was wearing one of those Monday morning teacher blouses that
gives a comfortable professionalism to my outfit. Young people don’t know how
to judge age for anyone more than 5 years older than themselves. My students
guess my age at anywhere between 25 and 60 and to them, that’s all the same –
old. I’m 47. Some days I feel 27, some days 67, most days I don’t feel an age
at all. But I digress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">When I got into my car and felt my whole body begin to give in to
exhaustion, I started to wonder if I looked older this afternoon than usual,
prompting the 5% savings. I got to work early this morning to prepare a few things but spent
<b>all</b> my time trying to get the technology I needed for my first group to work. I
finally got it to work, only to have it crap out on my again once the students
where there, forcing me to rework my entire lesson plan on the spot. Then I had
to give a standardized test to my 4<sup>th</sup> graders, on the computers
(which did work, for the most part.) And then I supervised a pair of student
teachers while they taught their first science lesson to elementary students.
And throughout the day I comforted Lila who’s stomach hurt, I tried to help
Junior find his calm and be able to stay in one place long enough to get some
work done, I got help for Michael who was too upset to talk to me and too out
of control to stay in class, I cleaned stray books and paper from the floor so
the mouse that I’ve been seeing lately wouldn’t nibble holes in them, I
searched everywhere for the master of the Math test I need to copy, I read
through my notes to make sure I was ready for an Education Justice meeting
tomorrow, I made a list of al the things I need to get done that I didn’t get
done today, and I texted back and forth with my teenager who did not get the
trip to Germany that she interviewed for over the weekend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I was exhausted and I must have looked it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Some days, it feels like I run all day and get nothing accomplished.
Today was one of those days. But, once home I helped my daughters get ready to
go to band practice and cooked a small dinner for my husband who had to run
right out to a meeting, and I hopped on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and threw
in some laundry, and got the dishwasher started. I was still running, but I
decided to notice my accomplishments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">The on the fly lesson went well and gave the kids a foundation of knowledge
I wanted them to have today. I gave the student teachers some helpful feedback.
Lila felt better after some kind attention. Junior found his calm for most of
the day. Michael returned to class ready to learn. There was no new evidence of
visits by the mouse. My daughter knows she has much to be proud of to even have
earned eligibility for that German trip. My husband was able to eat and rest
before driving off. And I exercised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I probably still look old. But I feel great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-33722778951299080932017-03-16T17:33:00.004-07:002017-03-16T17:33:59.904-07:00no Michelle Obama arms here - but a little of her moxie <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I'm a few years from my 50th birthday, but I can see and feel my body
aging. Yesterday morning I was shocked to see the fat in my forearms. I have
always wished to have Michelle Obama arms, though I’ve never worked for them. I
walk (sometimes I’m up to a jog) on the treadmill 3 - 5 times a week unless I
get to walk outside. I even own a few light hand weights and have been known to
do some calisthenics. But, I am not an athlete and often choose other ways to
spend my time than exercise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Still, those forearms kind of took me by surprise. And I won’t lie, I
started immediately to beat myself up about them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">But part of my goal this year, still a few away from 50, is to take
action. I can’t travel back in time and <i>not</i> eat the Moosetracks frozen yogurt
with chocolate jimmies, nor would I likely make that choice should Mr.
Peabody’s Way-Back Machine become available to me. Heck, keeping on this trend
of honesty, I’ll likely have a cup of Moosetacks this weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">My one little word isn’t about completely changing who I am or
drastically altering my habits. Action for me is thinking about what I do each
day and want to do each day and am hesitant or afraid to do each day and take
an action regarding it. While I would like better looking arms, when I stop to
really reflect on it what I really want is strength. My flabby arms are not
very strong and I want to be able tote around grandchildren one day, to be able
to haul my bags through the airport when my husband and I tour Europe for out
50<sup>th</sup> anniversary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I wonder if I can focus on strength without chastising myself for all my
past bad choices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I wonder if my focus on strength can help guide me to better choices in food and activity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I wonder if I can really accept that, while I might gain strength I
probably won’t lose all the flab.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I wonder if I can ever completely see myself the way I think my dear
husband does. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I was tired today, so walked at a slow pace on the treadmill. I stopped
after only 20 minutes because I wanted to make sure I could get some supper on
the table in time for the family to eat together before we each got to evening
activities. But since stepping off that treadmill I have taken action to do
things in line with the life I want to live. I read for my book club, I planned mini-lessons for my struggling students, I wrote to hone my skills. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">My arms are still flabby, but my
resolve is firm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-63139524973096021682017-03-15T09:15:00.000-07:002017-04-29T05:39:05.318-07:00Do not repeal the ACA<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpeR0g3WvNiQi-TgeyeuwW65X8GqoPwqSfB1Npn8HqxeWlRFM-tvsDtwTC3sMpBpnQXI0vO3z-3vpGgTun30tlK1spZDzbuliVNQNZuhu2VFanv3hwhZ8xxvopNSh26uyXmuclkEm0oNa/s1600/IMG_4663.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpeR0g3WvNiQi-TgeyeuwW65X8GqoPwqSfB1Npn8HqxeWlRFM-tvsDtwTC3sMpBpnQXI0vO3z-3vpGgTun30tlK1spZDzbuliVNQNZuhu2VFanv3hwhZ8xxvopNSh26uyXmuclkEm0oNa/s200/IMG_4663.JPG" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">An open letter to my representatives:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">My daughter has not been hospitalized for over 6
years now (knock wood). What's kept her out of the hospital is the daily regime
of medication that keeps her chronic asthma under control. And, we keep our
medicine cabinet filled with those medications because we can. Half the time I
pick up her prescriptions and have to pay no more at the counter than my
signature. Because, both my husband and I work. What's more, he works in high
tech, for a company that makes quality insurance available to their employees. And
if he didn't, we could go on my municipality's insurance program, constantly
defended by my teacher's union so that teachers and their families can stay
healthy. Most days, I don't think twice about health insurance. Our plan lets
us choose almost any doctor, my daughter's maintenance drugs are covered, my
husband's employer even matches a certain percentage of our deposits into our
Health Savings Account. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">A few months ago, my daughter turned 18. And a few
days ago, the Republican Administration announced their plan to overhaul
healthcare coverage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">I can still hide in my middle class bubble. As long
as we, her parents, have the means we will always make sure our daughter has
the medications she needs. And we live in Massachusetts which has a much better
track record of taking care of its citizens than some others. I'm lucky. We are
lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">But, my sisters and brothers in Wyoming, Arizona,
and Puerto Rico are not so lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">I think the administration is counting on my silent
complicity. And it makes sense, I have been silent for a long time, focused
inward on my own family, my own daughter's breath. And honestly, there were
some nights where my daughter's breath was the only thing I could be asked to
focus on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">But she hasn't been hospitalized for 6 years
(should I knock wood again?). Her prescriptions are ready at the pharmacy. I
have room in my day to focus elsewhere. And, I see that I can not be silently
complicit anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">As a Massachusetts voter, as a concerned citizen of
the United States, I urge you to do everything in your power to ensure access
to quality health care for every person in this country. The current plan
backed by the Republican Administration is insufficient. It will bankrupt young
women like my daughter who need to take medication every day to breathe. It
will encourage risky balancing acts as people decide which medical advice they
can afford to follow. It will profit a few at the expense of many. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">Our government of the people, by the people, FOR
the people has an opportunity to fix those aspects of the Affordable Care Act
that need tending. But, don't let them throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Please defend the Affordable Health Care Act and the people who rely on it for
coverage. Please defend the millions of Americans who do not have my middle
class privilege, who do not have working parents to fall back on, who do not
have generous employers or vocal unions, who do not have savings. Let's take
care of ensuring access to health care so the next scared parent can just focus
on her daughter's breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">I am sending this letter to all of my federal
representatives, to the President, and to the Speaker of the House. Because I
will not be silent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-90156765749123197402017-02-09T06:25:00.000-08:002017-02-09T06:25:54.924-08:00Justice is action<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGoS9yUZ8tR1h-gKkGm3zkVP167foYO7V6xjgZIHz2xq0ykPfFslfgTh5RzEy2PJ3DKrvRh7hb6jTo3f1Oj_b7GnF6h8ETfhhIH7Lu5SqjLHzjzSOEwSryBWxooISbP1PXfBFaq76PR4Y/s1600/Justice.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGoS9yUZ8tR1h-gKkGm3zkVP167foYO7V6xjgZIHz2xq0ykPfFslfgTh5RzEy2PJ3DKrvRh7hb6jTo3f1Oj_b7GnF6h8ETfhhIH7Lu5SqjLHzjzSOEwSryBWxooISbP1PXfBFaq76PR4Y/s320/Justice.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;">I have been a </span><span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">little overwhelmed and many times have nearly crawled back into my safe home, hoping to shut out the world. There is just too much going wrong, and my president is at the front of it all. And, though the majority of America did not vote this man in to office, there he is, </span><span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;">dragging us all down into his vortex of hate and greed. </span><!--EndFragment--><br />
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;">But then again . . . </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;">I am daily amazed and uplifted by the actions all around me. Millions came out the day after the inauguration around the country, and dozens are showing up regularly at city council meetings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: small;">Guided by this year's word, ACTION, I am finding my role.</span><br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-59599373308335803062017-01-16T05:00:00.000-08:002017-01-16T05:00:42.870-08:00potluck<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">I left my comfort zone for the unknowns of the city's Senior Center
yesterday. Two local groups hosted The People's Potluck as a way to get
underrepresented people together in a comfortable space. </span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">But, I'm not underrepresented.</span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">As a middle class, well-educated, home-owning white woman with job
security, I am well represented just about everywhere I go. I have a privilege
that comes with my skin tone and my luck at being born into a family able to give
me a head start. I know that privilege, and I know not everybody has it.</span><span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;">What I also know is that circumstances often keep me from meeting
people who do not share my life experiences. It felt important to take action here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">So, I sat through the introduction asking us all to look around and notice the lack of color among the attendees and felt that less-than-welcome feeling as the presenter continued with "but we welcome our allies." I know she too often has looked around the room and felt less-than-welcome and was trying to begin a conversation about why it is so hard to come together rather than to make me feel bad for coming at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">At my table I talked with an older white woman who lives in HUD subsidized housing and relies on various government support to keep her healthy and fed. She pointed out the struggles of living in the apartment complex downtown and the lack of communication between the residents within her building and certainly between those residents and the artists and condo owners who also live downtown. Admitting that people just don't come to meetings we started to think about what holds people back. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">It's uncomfortable, for one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">I almost didn't attend the potluck that day because I didn't know what to expect, didn't know anyone else going, wasn't sure it was "my place". But, and allow me to be sentimental here, after listening to President Obama's farewell speech where he admitted to fearing for the future of our democracy and suggested the importance of face to face conversations with people, I knew I had to force myself to attend. I had to agree to be uncomfortable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">But, that's a bit easier to do when you are comfortable most of the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">When my husband and I sat at a table only to have the two people sitting there keep their backs turned away engaging only each other, we sort of felt like we should leave. I felt better when I was able to joke with an older man in the food line, and help him get a piece of frittata, and then finally more people joined our table brought us into the conversation, and I'm glad we stayed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">It became very comfortable when I was able to start talking to one of those people who initially kept her back to me and we found out a little about each other. I connected to a woman with a child in my school district who is worried at what is missing from his education because the school has been working so hard to reach "Level 1" status. As a teacher, I know very well what's missing, and it is not worth the prestige that comes from high standardized test scores. And I was moved by hearing from a gay man who said he felt unwelcome at his local Southeast Asian restaurant but left with a better understanding when an Asian-American woman suggested that the culture may be naturally reticent, not necessarily hostile, and also wary of difference in a way that many older generation immigrants tend to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">In her <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/kio_stark_why_you_should_talk_to_strangers" target="_blank">TED Talk, Kio Stark</a> mentions the phenomenon of "fleeting intimacy" that allows us to connect with strangers in ways we don't with those in our closer circles. She posits that, since these people do not know us and so can't respond as well to our nonverbal signals we feel we have to fill them in on details we would leave out with a more familiar audience. It's important to talk to strangers for many reasons, but one is that we say more, elaborate more, make more clear connections all in order to be understood but also resulting in more reflection on our part. And what I need right now is to understand what I really think, why I do what I do and what I want to change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">With my one little word "action" as my guide, I left my comfort zone yesterday and became a little more comfortable there. </span></div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-49803628829627510432017-01-02T05:47:00.000-08:002017-01-02T05:48:09.983-08:00One Little Word - action<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcrTrRb6eOkbFA-RQzJLzJlBuSXr2vrGQu6wwd4_4_8DbYmf4t_1Xp-hDmNAREFGtUQRvWJ3C8pL7Av6e269I945DMj9Mke-6ginMKOCIB3dlYOfXGETkVirxDGN65Gg7PM8a0rY-AMDm7/s1600/action.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcrTrRb6eOkbFA-RQzJLzJlBuSXr2vrGQu6wwd4_4_8DbYmf4t_1Xp-hDmNAREFGtUQRvWJ3C8pL7Av6e269I945DMj9Mke-6ginMKOCIB3dlYOfXGETkVirxDGN65Gg7PM8a0rY-AMDm7/s1600/action.png" /></a></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;"> </span></o:p></span></u><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">This is the first word that popped in my head when
I read the One Little Word posts at the <a href="https://twowritingteachers.org/" target="_blank">Two Writing Teachers</a> site. I pushed it
aside and started to reflect on others - kind, brave, positive. But action kept
resurfacing. So, this is my focus word for 2017.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">The One Little Word (OLW) is a strategy to focus
your year without creating a long list of resolutions. The process of refining
my goals to one focus word has helped me to better understand what I want from
this new year, the kind of life I want to live. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">Not going to lie, I feel like phrasing my word as a
noun instead of a verb sounds a little contradictory. Shouldn't my word be ACT?
But as I think about the actions I want to take, it feels right. These actions
include writing, reading, and participating and the guiding word
"action" puts me in mind of putting myself in front of others. So, I
frequently write but rarely write out loud to engage in a wider community. I
read all the time but what do I do with that knowledge? Maybe participate is
really my word since what I want to do is engage with the world. But
participation is not as inspiring as action. Action implies that I am in
control of my work; participation requires me to subvert myself to the
group. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">I have a lovely Pinterest-worthy image of decorated
words posted around my life to help keep me focused. And I’ll probably
Zentangle at least one word to hang in my classroom, maybe even design a
sticker for my laptop. Truthfully, adding art into my days is a part of the
action I’ve been thinking about so taking the time to doodle and paint fits
right in with the goal. But what I’m excited about is that for the 2<sup>nd</sup>
day in a row I’ve taken the time to write in my journal, write for posting, and
read something that challenges me to action. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic";">Let the year of action begin.</span><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-65586409431770952622017-01-01T08:56:00.000-08:002017-01-01T08:56:01.243-08:00Happy New Year<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">I remember being
told once that what you do on New Year’s Day is indicative of what you will be
doing in that year. It makes sense since what you choose to do with a day off
can certainly show your priorities. But we all know that we often subvert our
personal priorities for obligation and perceived responsibility. Days off are
days off. They take us out of our routine and give us a vacation from
responsibility. I think I’m spending this New Year’s much as I’ve spent the
past several, but it is not necessarily how I’ve spent my years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">I woke early this
morning, before anyone else in the house, got the coffee started and settled
into the couch with some light reading. I noticed a Goodreads invitation to
submit my 2017 reading challenge and so took half a minute to think about what
might be reasonable and then typed in 50 even though it's not. True, I read 51
books this past year – not hard because half of them were student fiction – but this year I’m hoping
to sign up for a post graduate program and won’t have the same kind of pleasure
reading time that I had last year. Then I think about how much time I spend
trolling through Facebook and playing mindless games and reading frustrating
blog posts and remember that 50 books is well within my means. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">Let’s stop that
train of thought though because if what you are doing on New Year’s is what
you’ll be doing through the year then I know I want to do a lot less
self-flagellation and a lot more energized action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVzyllnDoSyeL5SYGo061HCXAf1tP9KjaUBEIFZp8Ri9V96W4woEkCaKO-gmg-4lkq_6DgyYttdFJxVXu1m2hJAuxsEnk6brBbpeklObr4EKM5F9kGPAZKPp-UfWxq0lKjB8iKu1rtYs6f/s1600/IMG_0043.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVzyllnDoSyeL5SYGo061HCXAf1tP9KjaUBEIFZp8Ri9V96W4woEkCaKO-gmg-4lkq_6DgyYttdFJxVXu1m2hJAuxsEnk6brBbpeklObr4EKM5F9kGPAZKPp-UfWxq0lKjB8iKu1rtYs6f/s320/IMG_0043.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Century Gothic;">So here's what I want to continue doing after this morning. Reading, being close to my husband, planning for a better world. And what the picture can't show is the action taken because I will give myself time to refresh.</span></div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-49690109983547656962016-11-25T08:04:00.000-08:002016-11-25T08:04:00.116-08:00a new bookfiddling with the end of her braid<br />
slight smile<br />
quick flip of the page<br />
A new book.<br />
<br />
(Found this poem while cleaning up some old notebooks. Thought I'd try to push myself to take more poetry breaks.)Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-13611678436271169362016-11-20T07:55:00.000-08:002016-11-20T07:55:43.590-08:00water and mind<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4w-h2ONpqZYXLlE49symd4n38K0LN_fyCeeMQEtAe9NmKetOCGzkwqDUZ8hKmklUUgBstxUgmC0sa-mq5qKXSZXCgeqoRNbghJlt4JRJFVvACdDuhTFJOV27E6HSAkVJSzwTzQ66vqY_/s1600/IMG_4485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4w-h2ONpqZYXLlE49symd4n38K0LN_fyCeeMQEtAe9NmKetOCGzkwqDUZ8hKmklUUgBstxUgmC0sa-mq5qKXSZXCgeqoRNbghJlt4JRJFVvACdDuhTFJOV27E6HSAkVJSzwTzQ66vqY_/s320/IMG_4485.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
I walk to exercise my body and to clear my mind. Were I to list out all the things to be thankful for, that my neighborhood walk brings me past this lake would be high up on it.<br />
<br />
The sky around this lake holds the most amazing light. The water is tranquilly still or chaotically wind-blown, seeming to mirror my emotions, or acting on them.<br />
<br />
Today, as I walk, I am thankful.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-27628523601867673602016-11-20T07:45:00.000-08:002016-11-20T07:46:52.872-08:00acting through mourning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Rh57jnH5xsSip6mVX8lnsI6-MRoMduEvCtTS6E7G-5exECYBUTB0DqEx09kikCPWhnAFNjbf9zAASvzOs1hVRsIX5_IVLUiuCLde-Lnr5PTu9X22BcRWaM75X3E0BQxN7e1Ftsjwru3H/s1600/IMG_0036.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Rh57jnH5xsSip6mVX8lnsI6-MRoMduEvCtTS6E7G-5exECYBUTB0DqEx09kikCPWhnAFNjbf9zAASvzOs1hVRsIX5_IVLUiuCLde-Lnr5PTu9X22BcRWaM75X3E0BQxN7e1Ftsjwru3H/s320/IMG_0036.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have given myself some time to mourn. Knowing the nature of grief and the cyclical nature of mourning, I know I am not through, may never be through, mourning this loss of faith in my country, I am, nevertheless, ready to begin action.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The leaders I admire most have acted for good in the midst of so much bad; they attempt to embody the world they want to see and so nudge - or drag - the world along with them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I see a world that acts like a family, sitting together in a feast of Thanksgiving to honor the gifts of this world even though we disagree on how to use those gifts. A world that respects the rights of each member to live happily, even while we advocate for a different way. I want to be in a family that listens to each other with an ear for understanding, not waiting for a foible to pounce on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And so, that is my first action.</span><br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-90365018741142606752016-11-13T04:37:00.002-08:002016-11-20T07:47:29.780-08:00who's road is it?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXA2gpw9jJRC9bm6fUblbWXHetbbj8BuVVabNdOTNEzHIR7bfU1MQT7_7k-WvNvSy5Oai00xnAnFFoCqZpOXy0WSRW2tj-TBRKwbBaEmAgYnzDUZFa9rXSlRO3N6EY3XFqSNSPPeEbhLA/s1600/IMG_4441.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXA2gpw9jJRC9bm6fUblbWXHetbbj8BuVVabNdOTNEzHIR7bfU1MQT7_7k-WvNvSy5Oai00xnAnFFoCqZpOXy0WSRW2tj-TBRKwbBaEmAgYnzDUZFa9rXSlRO3N6EY3XFqSNSPPeEbhLA/s320/IMG_4441.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">On my walk the other day I stepped over this sidewalk scribble, not quite finished. Perhaps the graphic artist was called in for lunch or nap time. The words filled the road at an intersection in the back of the neighborhood, almost at the end of a dead end, where the right turn leads to a gravel road. You would think this spot hardly needed a reminder for people to obey the rule to stop at an intersection. But these kids thought it did. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That right turn leads to a popular public beach on the edge of our little lake, beside which is a fabulously accessible playground. It's also the route to the outside world for people who live in the little houses along these black roads. So, despite the many wobbly kids on bikes, baby carriages, dogs at the end of leashes, and gangs of oblivious teenagers in the middle of the road, people take this corner as if there is nothing in their way. But three out of the four houses on this corner are packed full of young kids, ranging in age from toddler to tween, who use the road, as kids are meant to, as their kickball field and skateboard park, to sell lemonade and create art.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is their road. They can claim ownership more than any of us taxpaying visitors. And they need us to stop.</span></div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-32413017388680701702016-10-15T14:22:00.003-07:002016-10-15T14:25:19.654-07:00differences of remembrance<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At the end of a story remembering a scene from childhood, the author says that her father, now long dead, doesn't care how she remembers him. And I gasped. Doesn't he? Do you really think that?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And then, catching my breath, I agreed. Of course he doesn't. I don't really think that my Dad knows how I'm remembering him - well, maybe I sort of do but the point it, that's not what upsets me about memories of my parents. What upsets me is hearing how others remember them. When their memories don't match mine I'm riled, defensive. Not the details - we remember different details, experienced from different perspectives - but the tone, the "Dad would"s or the "Mom would never"s. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Um. Wrong. Your memory is wrong. Your opinions of these people I loved, love, so dearly is wrong. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And I can't change my mind about this. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I feel bad for my sister who has a completely warped picture of my Dad. She's missing out on the more tolerant, forgiving, accepting father of my reality. But I'm also, let's be clear, pretty pissed at her for her claims that my father, <i>my</i> <i>father</i>, would agree with her intolerant rants. My Dad could disagree with your politics and still respect that you came to your conclusions the same way he did, through thoughtful reflection. My Dad loved my pro-choice, pro-equality, pro-environment self even as he cast a vote for representatives who were anti all of those things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Maybe Dad doesn't care anymore about how we remember him, but I care how he is remembered.</span>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642203312203834525.post-44138408559411320722016-09-25T06:15:00.000-07:002016-09-25T06:15:27.516-07:00our "way of life"<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">I’m sitting
comfortably, legs up on the couch, full mug of coffee within easy reach,
knowing my girls are safely sleeping away this Sunday morning in their rooms.
But the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Boston</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Globe</i> has a way of messing with that comfort. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">I can skip most
of the references to Trump, smile reading about Elizabeth Warren’s untiring
fight, but I started reading the article about the latest shootings in the US
and I lost all sense of contentment. It was this line, by the mayor of
Burlington, WA, Steve Sexton, that got me. “The city of Burlington has probably
changed forever,” he said “But I don’t think our way of life needs to change.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">Doesn’t it? If we
don’t change our way of life, won’t this keep happening? Isn’t it time to think
about change? That’s been my struggle these past few months. What, exactly can
I do to help set things right? Something’s got to change, and each one of us
has something to offer in this transformation, something that we must offer in
order for it to happen. Don’t we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">The issues are so
big and overwhelming that it’s paralyzing. What the hell can I do to influence
police training so officers are equipped to handle difficult situations without
firing a gun? Do I have a part in the Dakota pipeline protests? How do my
choices about drinking water help or harm people in Flint Michigan? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">There’s a
movement afoot to focus on small acts as a way to overcome the paralysis but
I’m worried that the time for small gestures is past. How can taking a moment
to notice the place I’m in and posting a picture help? How can bringing cookies
to my neighbors make any sort of a difference? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">And yet, that
would be a change in my way of life. I am not only insulated from the pain
around me, I’m insulated from the life. At school I’ve been teaching the kids
about the interactions between organisms in an ecosystem; how each organism has
an influence and a dependence on others in the system. Our “way of life” seems
to keep us separate from our own ecosystem but really just keeps us ignorant of
our place in it. My drinking water choices do impact Flint, and Portland, and
Boston, and Cynthia next door. Noticing those choices, thinking about the
interactions I participate in with each of those choices is a small and
necessary step. How do I continue along the path? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">One small step is
to stop saying we are not going to let the terrorists change us. They are
changing us. They have created a space for a fear-mongering opportunist to
scare us into voting for hate. They have caused us to turn away from families
trying to pull their children out of war and into a safe childhood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic";">We are changed by
every act of violence spread across the pages of the <i>Boston</i> <i>Globe</i>. Isn’t it
time we choose <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how</i> we are changed? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09203063429894173407noreply@blogger.com0