I’m in the parlor, listening to the news stream through my laptop, descriptions of the grief and fear from yesterday’s bombing. I can hear my girls in the family room waking up with giggles after their sleepover with a friend. It is not so incongruous.
In the past year, I have reflected a lot on the phrase life goes on. In the midst of chaos and sorrow and bad things happening there are always children giggling, moments of joy.
I don’t believe that “God gives us only what we can handle”; I don’t believe that “everything happens for a reason”. What I believe is that yucky, crappy things happen and so do great and wonderful things. And that’s life.
I also believe that our daily decisions about how to react make a difference. Before I knew to turn on the news yesterday, I was already thinking about how to make my classroom a more peaceful place. I have made mistakes and I want to stop making them. I have gone through whole days without reflecting on my contribution to the conflict. One goal for my week-long break was to reflect on my behavior and my reactions to behavior and see how I could do better. That goal gained urgency at 3pm yesterday.
This school year has included way too much tragedy and I want desperately to blame someone and make them reform. What I have to do is much harder. No blame, just thoughtfulness in all my actions. Not easy. But, in the name of first graders in Connecticut and cheering spectators in Boston I will try.